.....

Sometimes I am unimaginably lonely. The problem is I'm so good at faking happy that I don't even notice how lonely I am. It really is quite pathetic actually. Im surrounded by people all the time and I yet I feel so alone. So unknown. I've loved before, but I haven't been loved back. For some reason I always fall short of what they are looking for, not quite enough. I am enough for myself, I know my value. The problem is I just want to be looked at and actually be seen. Ive been invisible for so long. I just want to be found. It never rains in real life like it does in the movies. Nothing ever happens like it does in the movies. But for some reason I feel like real life isn't real either. How can it be so full and so empty at the same time? How can I have everything and nothing all the same? I wish I was a note from Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata because those hauntingly beautiful and lonely musical notes are sometimes the only true moments that really exist in life as they disappear into the air like memories.