Change

This past year has been a big one for me in the learning the lesson of letting go. A few major relationships have ended and oddly enough some old ones I thought were dead and gone are re emerging. Go figure.
I was initially scared to reopen those chapters I closed so long ago. I thought I made the right choice by ending them at that time. But once I set aside my fear I realized that I did make the right choice for that time but time has kept ticking and things have changed. Now I can make different choices and view the situations differently because along with time, I too have changed.
You know I find one of the hardest things about change is the letting go of who you thought you were to usher in this "new" you, a changed you. I've been me so long its hard to think of a new me without this or without that....But fighting the change does nothing but bring more pain and honestly more wear and tare and if I have to start over (again)I want to have as few rough edges as I can.

And The Beat Goes On

So how exactly are you supposed to mend a broken heart that never seems to heal? I guess if I knew the answer to that I could win the Nobel Peace prize or something. Or at least write a book about it and make a quick buck. Some people write love songs, some fall into a pit of despair, I on the other hand keep going. Kids fed, clothed and bathed, I make it to school and work, I smile, laugh joke and josh. What else is there to do? Ok I admit the laundry has been neglected but shit! Who wants to wash dirty clothes when you are trying not to fall apart? So despite the fact that I am trying hang on by a thread here, I m still moving. Gotta love motion!