Uneasy

I am so uneasy about my children and their father and his "side" of the family. This man is celebrated for raising beer cans to his face rather than raising his kids. There is nothing quite like the look of disappointment on a child's face at the hands of their parent and I see this look all to many times on my children's faces due to their father. How do I forgive this? How do I separate what he does and his family's indifference and defensiveness for him and his behavior? I know they love the children, but I feel so protective of them I sometimes am afraid to let them get too close. There is an upcoming vacation where the children are invited to go, and myself as well as an afterthought, and I know they will be looked after, there is a mistrust that I feel toward them based on their support for this ridiculous father my children have that makes me doubt if they are safe at all. Maybe this is all jumbled and confusing to read but I doubt anyone is listening anyhow. Just feels better to get it out and off my chest. I need to do some thinking.